we have these as questions and answers because that is an exciting way to have a shipping page

if anything below does not make sense or yooh have other questions email us at and please include a nice compliment to get the conversations started thank yooh

how do yooh ship and how long does it take

we ship via usps (that is the united states postal service, ie the post office)

we get your order out the door in 2-4 days and then it depends on how far yooh are from cleveland, ohio and also if the post office is having a panic attack and/or being slow

please keep in mind that because our envelopes are thicker (because of the age ham) they cannot go through the post office's scanning machines, so sometimes that makes things take little longer than a normal letter or card

is shipping 40 cents per order or 40 cents per address

it is 40 cents per address and please remember or keep in mind that 40 cent shipping is like sending with a stamp ie there is no tracking number

what if i want or need a tracking number

if yooh want a tracking number it costs $3.99 for usps or $8.99 for ups

what if i want to ship to multiple addresses in the same order

this is easy at checkout just select "ship to multiple addresses"

yooh will need to login into your account to do this - if yooh do not have an account yet just checkout as a guest and then the checkout robot will make yooh create an account later and that only takes a second do not worry

can i get express processing/shipping

not right now sorry about that please do not be mad

applepay and/or paypal changed my shipping address when it processed my order

yais tim cook is playing tricks like that sometimes - if this happened to yooh just email the following to

1) your order number

2) the recipient's full name (first and last, no nicknames, no emojis)

3) their full address

what if i want my age ham to arrive on an exact date

we try our best but this is very hard for us to accomplish successfully because of the post office and how they get grumpy sometimes

if yooh tell us (for example) june 14th, we will get it there on or around june 14th - usually we will err to the side of before june 14th

i want to send something outside of the united states

that is fine just select international shipping during checkout and yais yooh can send one card to another country and another to the united states in the same order (see how to ship to multiple addresses above)

also it costs $2 to ship with an international stamp (per address) and if yooh want an international tracking number that will be calculated once yooh put the shipping address in

what if my age ham gets lost in the mail

as long as yooh gave us the right name/address in your original order we will resend it for yooh

what if my age ham gets returned to yooh as undeliverable

if this happens we will email yooh when it comes back to us as soon as we can

if it coming back as undeliverable was our fault somehow (ie we somehow put your address wrong or there was not enough postage) we will offer yooh a refund or a free resend

if yooh gave us the wrong address or yooh left off the apartment number or put their nickname for shipping instead of their real name we will offer yooh a 50% discount on a replacement to the correct/full address

do yooh offer returns or refunds

we accept returns and refunds of age hams under any of the following circumstances:

1) yooh gave us the correct name/address but your age ham never arrives

2) your age ham arrives damaged, missing the ham, and/or the card is badly damaged

3) you submit a 3-page, hand-written, single spaced essay about why yooh are displeased with your age ham purchase

also if yooh return your age ham yooh have to promise to buy another age ham to make up for it